Reboot - Krabi 4/12/2023 and Tiger Cave Temple / Recovery

After being back in Bangkok for a couple of weeks and then having a brief meet up with one of my brothers for a short while, I was again undecided as to what next, extending my stay at a conveniently placed, moderately priced hotel to allow for some new ideas to form. I was still unsure what was holding me back, I seemed unable to pick up and push on again in a similar manner to how I had managed in the past. Maybe it was a case the a simple, single answer did not exist and searching for the reason was an endeavor to nowhere useful. Perhaps it was more that a series of unfortunate events had led to a rift in the space time continuem, or that my mind had been turned into gravy. Ultimately though I began to lean into the thought that I no longer had any real confidence in myself or my ability to hold together in testing circumstances. The diabetes had been a consideration in the past, but now there was a temperamental eye to contend with and a bypassed heart with less than perfect wiring holding it in place. I don't know why I was letting it get to me, but I decided that the time was right for a long overdue return to Krabi town to put what was left of me to the test. 

Thankfully the flight down from Bangkok this time wasn't as eventful as the one that I had taken a decade before. This time there was no prolonged drop at XX thousand feet part way through the flight, with the only lump sticking in the throat was one that caused by the cost of the checked in luggage I had been stung with at the airport, I had booked the fights through the AirAsia website, but the carrier it turned out was ThaiVietjet. There had been no option to add luggage at the booking stage, itself is not exactly unusual. More problematic was that following the bookings being made, the reference that AirAsia could not be used on the AirAsia website to add any more luggage and the same reference on the ThaiVietjet webpage returned a message stating that this option was "only available for direct bookings". Cost of flight about 1880 Thai Baht. Cost of checked luggage at the airport, 1060 Thai Baht. Not exactly a rip off overall but more that it should have been in an ideal world.

At Krabi Airport the checked luggage was onto the collection carousel in only a short few minutes after we had debarked and it was a very short walk from there to the exit where I bought a ticked for a minibus into the town, and which also dropped me at hotel itself  The room although simple, offered all that I needed for a short stay. It was spacious, had a kettle for a hot drink or two, air-conditioning, a window to the outside world and a balcony for when the window wasn't enough.  Next to the door balcony was the door to the en-suite en-suite bathroom,  so I made a mental note to try to not confuse the two if tired or a little tipsy. I rarely drink when travelling on my own as I feel that I need to keep myself tunes into my surroundings and the state of my health as a whole.  In this climate however and away from the more intense environments I had been, I felt that I could relax a little more and just enjoy a moment. There are few things nicer than a very cold lager, or possibly three after a hot day, but I tried to not allow myself to get too carried away. In the morning still had I had a temple that I wanted to climb up to. 

I woke early with the slightest of sore throats, which I cursed about a little before taking the yoghurt drink from the fridge in order to take off its edge. A very short internal debate the commenced as to whether I should be doing this today given the newest ailment and how much of additional it might cause when added to the other metaphorical monkeys I was already carrying.  I showered and thought a little more before then drying myself down (almost pointless given what was to come) and then prepared and packed my  a daypack with enough supplies to cover the journey to come and any foreseeable challenges (primarily diabetes and fluid based). I didn't know if I would be feeling better or worse the following day so reasoned that it was a good a time as any to get it done with my self imposed caveat that if I felt at any point over the next few hours that anything was really amiss, I would put the brakes on everything and then return at a later date to try again if feasible. As of yet I had not given myself any strict deadlines to adhere to, and this was not going to be a challenge with any kind of timescale attached. I just felt the need to know whether my body was going to let me down or not when put to a test, and if id did not perform so well,  could that be or not be something that could be addressed. I walked out from the hotel reception and grabbed the first tuktuk I saw and took the 5 mile / 8 kilometers trip to the complex of shops and shrines that lay at the bottom of the Tiger Cave Temple steps.   

The time had already hit  8.15 am by the time I arrived and although I wasn't in any rush to get to the top, I did want to get as far up as I could before the temperatures rose too sharply and made the climb more laborious than it needed to be. This was the second time I had go through this endeavor before, but ones memory can prove itself to be a fickle or selective thing at times. There were bits I remembered from previous that I hadn't been looking forward to facing again. The abtual monkeys (not metaphorical) that had acted aggressively towards me all of the way up, the feeling of altitude sickness that took all but incapacitated me for a short while as I stepped over that final step in 2013. These kind of things I remembered. What I had managed to block out however was exactly how steep and brutal many parts of the route were, with some of the more challenging parts (of which there were many) requiring a large step and push up to be taken in order to get to next. I could feel that the legs had needed to start working very early on, with quadriceps, calves and knees called to do a duty far above and beyond their usual requisite just to get me up and over those 1260 steps. I took my time, stopping often and where appropriate sparking up a conversation with others going both up and down to take my mind off of the task, surprised to learn that more than a few had also been on the receiving end of heart related issues. Much to my relief the monkeys were not in a bothersome mood during my visit (perhaps they were still at breakfast), however I did start to feel nauseous after I had about 800 steps underneath me. At this point I slowed my pace a little more and the the stops also became a little more prolonged and frequent as I tried to stave off this sensation from causing problems further up. The last few flights felt shorter as the summit neared touching distance and other seemed eager to offer words of encouragement to those whose trial was nearly at an end. Or at least the first bit was 

The view from the top was as stunning as I remembered, also managing to be of the few places that I had revisited on this trip that hadn't immediately struck me as being significantly different this time around. I'm sure there had been tweaks. The gap in one part of outer wall where I had taken up the recovery position as I tried to keep my insides inside had been dutifully filled, but thankfully for me, this time the sickly feeling had not become as disabling as on that occasion, undoubtably helped by me earlier awareness and management of it during its earlier stages. The air at the top was was nice and fresh with a breeze that tried to mask the suns power as beat down from above,  but I was aware enough to not allow my ever thinning hair be exposed to its effects for too long. Factor 50 I hoped would help protect me  me from the worst with bouts of bouts cap wearing when things go too intense. I removed the cap from time to time and packed it away to avoid another captastrophe, well away that if I put it down when taking a photograph from time to time, history has proved that I may not remember to pick it back up again. As much as I liked having it since donated to me by my brother in Bangkok, it wasn't "another trip to the top" kind of "like" if it happened to get left there.  

I stayed at the top for well over an hour, which considering the limited space that is available at the peak is more than enough time to admire the views, take in the atmosphere and try to capture a little of it photographically.  The decent I remember being tough, but whether it was the passing of time or the withering of muscles, it was tougher this time that I was aniticipating.  The are railings that run alongside the path are there for a reason, and whilst a couple of hours before they had used to help haul my frame upwards, now they were being used to try to prevent a "John Wick 4" style steep step roll from taking place. Unlike that characters events though that acted as a precursor to the culmination of that particular film, any such reenactments on my part lead on towards a thrilling climax. I would not be able to brush off such a tumble with my previous medical history attesting to my inability to bounce off of hard services without suffering ill effect. However maybe it could be argues that that I may have been less likely so suffer any injuries to the legs as those had already mostly turned to jelly. My MacGyvered heart for its part had not caused any real reason for concern, a post match analysis showing nothing irregular had been recorded during the activity itself, just an increase in the pulse-rate which was obviously to be expected.  It did became clear soon after however, that my legs were not going to be shaking this one off so easily. 

It took a day and a half for me to find my way to get a message from the shop located a few doors down from the hotel. I had hoped that the aches that I had felt coming on in initially would become easier on their own, but by the time that the night had fallen at the end of that day, my mobility was being seriously hampered. The following day it had become excruciatingly painful to navigate the shallow stairs either to or from my first floor room and my attempt at coming back down the the steps at the nearby shopping plaza would have looked to any onlookers as though I was preparing to demonstrate some new kind of extreme sport. 

It didn't help me that the Krabi kerbs (great name for a band) are at least 2 or 3 times the height of those that you would ordinarily happen across when back in the UK. I am starting to question as to whether this is just a way to take the piss out of the tourists who have managed to overexert themselves in one way pr another since they had arrived at the sleep town. There is obviously no proof of this.

Unless there is. 

It might be a lifetime until the next one. 

  

         

   

'  

    

19/11/2013 - Slow start.

I have never been the best at starting out on these trips. Each time I have embarked on longer travels it has taken me a while until I could get properly moving, or feel like I was beginning to gain traction. It's at times like these that I have to remind myself of this. When I start to feel frustrated from a lack of progress, I need to remember that in itself, this isn't actually anything unusual for me. It still nags away though. 

Whilst it can feel like I am not getting anywhere, part of this issue may stem from not being best prepared for leaving the UK in the first place, which may or may not surprise some given how long my thoughts had been on returning to these parts. There were challenges that I had to overcome (or at least learn to live with) before I could get away though, so any serious planning would have taken up resources and energy that I could ill afford at the time and was required elsewhere. Also, there was no point in time where it was clear that I might be able to get a clear run at anything due to ongoing appointments and procedures. As a result and despite my best efforts, in the few weeks between a window of opportunity opening and the flight out, I still arrived somewhat on the back foot, without any real goal or plan. My hope was that just getting back away from the norm might be enough initially to start the cogs moving and that ideas might begin formulating once my head was in a different space, or in a different place. 

I spent a few weeks trimming and replacing many of the clothes that I had bought along with me, now found to be unsuitable or uncomfortable for the climate I was back in. The footwear was the first thing to be replaced, a departure I had planned for Bangkok before I had even left where I was living. About 10 or so t-shirts made way for ones of lighter, more breathable fabric, a benefit both when wearing or packed into a rucksack for transport. In total I have managed to lose nearly 2 kilogrammes in weight off of my luggage since I arrived from these changes, which is noticeable when being carried from pillar to post, to airports and buses or trains, or to a 4th floor of a hotel that doesn't have lifts. It is also possible that without those clothing changes, my baggage weight could have gone up instead of down. The joys of adapting to this kind of humidity   

Socially I am not finding my footing, but I think a couple of factors are in play here. Firstly is the locations that I have been putting myself into. The hotel in which I stayed initially whilst comfortable, wasn't really a hive of activity, or a place where you could happen to get into a conversation easily and without much effort. This is unlike some of the hotels and hostels that I have been lucky to have been in previously. The other factor is me. Whilst the surroundings will undoubtedly make a difference, having locked myself down for so long in an act of self-preservation to get myself into the position where I could back out here in the first place has had an impact, and trying to reverse that isn't anything that is coming easily. After being re-booted, unplugged and plugged back in again, perhaps I need to defragment. Or it could just be a memory problem,    

Maybe it would be easier to re-adjust to being here if places such as the Au Bon Pain coffee shop in Silom, a place where I would often find myself working at in years past, had not (like many others), changed or disappeared. Replaced in the larger part by a bank, and a smaller part of yet-to-be-utilised space, I have been able to find an alternative that has the same mix of ever-changing views, good coffee and a relaxed, workable atmosphere. Bangkok is big so I am sure that such establishments do exist and I would eventually find at least one if I were to stay here long enough, but outside of the city, there are many more places that I should try to reach whilst my current personal circumstances allow it. I need to do some research and compile a list as soon as I can focus as winging it doesn't seem to be working out so well on this occasion.

Barring a short trip to Brunei to visit a friend who has recently moved out there, there is still isn't much to write in terms of new adventures or experiences. I stopped for a few days on each side of the visit in Kuala Lumpur, a place that continues to frustrate me in its ability to keep me from fully falling for its charms as I have in several other locations. There is little doubt that there is a lot to like there. I have found the Malaysian people to be almost overwhelmingly friendly, open and helpful on each of the occasions that I have visited their country, and Kuala Lumpur is no different. My problem could be the heaviness of the air that I find makes walking less enjoyable for my weighty, western body. There are always cheap and efficient options available for fast and convenient travel in and around the city itself (and beyond if needed), but I am someone that enjoys a walk (maybe due to there being periods where even this has proved to be problematic) as it affords me the chance of experiencing the sights and sounds of the environment I am in, I just prefer to do it without sweating out half of my body weight. Love it ior not though, I am sure that I will end up passing through here several times during the duration of this journey, as similarly to Bangkok, it could be a useful place to replenish stocks and supplies whilst also being a useful gateway to other destinations. 

I may find myself falling for it more yet. 

*I will add some thoughts on Brunei (or as I like to call it Bahrain) when I get the chance.

26/10/2023 - Running down a dream.

Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?
                Morpheus:-  The Matrix 1999

    The next few days were mostly a continuation of the feelings experienced the night before, but on an amplified scale. Whichever part of Bangkok that I retread, my first impression was that everything was mostly consistent with how I had left it in 2019, but there was something amiss. It was like when you recall a particularly vivid dream that seemed to accurately portray a person, place or event at first, but soon you think about those bits that just don't tally up with reality. For me, having been away from here for over 4 and half years, I began to wonder how much of what I was remembering was an accurate portrayal, and how much was my subconscious filling in the blanks. 

Thankfully I had taken plenty of photographs over my previous stays, which went some way to backing up the accuracy of the particular details that I was remembering.

      It took me a while to get my head around the differences that I was finding out had been made. Extensive internal changes inside of the MBK and Siam Centre were thankfully not extended to the Siam Paragon or Terminal 21 Malls. The latter 2 locations were of particular use as upon arriving in Bangkok I had decided that many of the clothes I had packed to bring with me were not going to be suitable for the conditions I had put myself back into. The pair of replacement shoes that I bought on the first day was the item that I had planned on getting before I left the UK, but several t-shirts and short-sleeved shirts I felt had more than served their time. So far a total of 6 new t-shirts, 1 polo shirt and 2 short sleeve tops of a much lighter fabric type have been brought in as replacement. This may not be over yet. 

    I have caused myself a mild bit of frustration with my final packing choices before I left the UK, That nagging doubt that had plagued me in the final run-up, that I was not ready or more that I was taking too much had led to a few items being pulled out and discarded in the final hours before I left, despite my baggage weight being comfortably within my allowance. One of those things was a white USB-A to USB-C cable which specific trait was that it enabled my phone to fully charge up in just over thirty minutes. A particularly useful feature for travel I thought and one of the reasons I ended up going for this particular model. I did bring a different white USB-A to USB-C charging cable with me, but this is just a standard cable with no underlying party tricks. All efforts to track down a suitable replacement have as yet failed. The old Pantip plaza that used to be great for electronic devices is (as is maybe getting predictable by now) no longer.

This particular frustration though, may now have been given an end date
   

25/10/2023 - Settling back in (or not)

I'm not really used to suffering from jetlag, well not when travelling on a west-to-east leg at least. On this occasion however, it feels like I may be on the receiving end of a potentially brutal two-footed challenge. 

The flight had been long and tiring, and I had expected it to be as such when I booked them judging that the extra few hours flight time was worth it to try and claw back some of the extra costs I had been subjected to. Fortunately those hours passed by mostly event-free. and thanks to the added comfort afforded by exceptionally good performing noise-cancelling headphones, those 18 hours from Bristol to Bangkok only felt like about 20, thanks in part to a heart that felt about ready to pull a John Hurt in Alien on me (I may have become hyper-aware). The plane touched down in Bangkok at 12:15 p.m. Immigration was as simple and as straightforward as it could be and a short time later (when I had collected my overweighted bag from the carousel and picked up a local sim card accordingly), I was on the train from the airport towards the city centre. Here I  switched onto to the BTS (sky train) line, which then in turn enabled me to get within just a couple of minute's walk from my first hotel, which I arrived at dripping with sweat.

After sorting everything out at the hotel, I had a shower and headed back out into the heavy, overly humid evening air. Silom, a place that I first visited 10 years ago and had subsequently felt quite comfortable in, had changed. Some buildings had been knocked down or altered, with shops and landmarks that I once knew and recognised no longer existed in their once familiar forms. For the first time in a long time in that particular part of the city, I found myself becoming lost, with those absent navigation points leading on more than one occasion to me fully losing my sense of direction. One of the few things that I had left that had been resolutely reliable in the past (except in New Zealand, but there is probably a scientific reason for that somehow)

After getting some street food sorted (so good even when lost), I found my way back to the hotel, stopping only at a 7-11 store for some supplies for the fridge, enough to carry me over the next few days. Back in my room, I set about trying to write, either to make a start on an entry for the blog or reply to some messages that I had received over the past hours. Unable to keep my eyes open doing either, I gave in and embraced the cool night that was at the courtesy of the room's air conditioning unit. 

It may not have been silent, but in truth, it was close enough for it not to matter. 

24/10/2023 - The long way around

I didn’t think that I was going to sleep the night before I left, but in the end I was just too tired not to, even if it was only for a couple of hours. I did however sleep with the light on and also set 7 or 8 alarms across several different devices to try and avoid missing the coach that was due to depart Bristol at 5:50 am, in order to make the flight out of Heathrow at just after mid-day. Sometimes I can, and have, slept through pretty much anything, probably due in some part to having a bedroom located above a busy pub during my preteen years in (with early 80s jukebox hits booming through the boards at night alongside the sounds of drunken crowds). In the over-tired state that I was in, my being unresponsive to any sound when under is always going to be a bit of a risk.

I had booked the flights just a few weeks earlier and had undoubtedly underestimated the amount of effort and stress that this latest trip was going to cause. Perhaps it was a delayed knee-jerk reaction to the various trials I have gone through over the last few years, stumbling through one final hurdle at the eye hospital as they (eventually) concluded that the condition of my right eye was no immediate risk. “We shall see you again in 3 months” the consultant remarked at the end of my latest appointment there. “Can we make it 6” I asked politely, I’ve been trying to get off of this damned rock since 2019 now without much success (or words to that effect at least).

The price of the flights themselves were much costlier than those on the last pre-covid jaunt of (2019), however it was the quotes for insurance that I was getting that I found to be pretty mind-blowing and totally unjustified, with initial prices hitting about the £4500 mark, These figures really did start me further questioning the feasibility of what I was doing, weighing up whether it was an idea that, with all the delays incurred and subsequent personal developments, was now just something that had gone past its sell-by date. Would I be better served cutting my losses before I got too deep into the travel abyss? My frustration is that the massively increased cost is mostly a result of the heart operation that was deemed necessary in 2022, but this is flawed logic if you kind of think about it. Of course, it isn’t flawed if you are sn insurance company that wants an excuse to squeeze more money out of people. Shortly after my heart operation (I need to clarify now don’t I!?!), the consultant at the hospital excitedly declared “But we have fixed you!” and ”we will next see you in about 25 years” when I said about feeling a little down and frustrated with everything, especially as I had put so much effort in previously in trying to stay fit and healthy against the diabetic backdrop. The hard truth is that I know the condition of my heart (I have the scar to prove it) and I know that it is in good condition and I will take the meds to prevent and potential further complications down the line, How many people out there don’t have the benefit of having that level of understanding? yet still I’m the one that insurance companies deem as as a higher risk? Should it not be the other way around, maybe?

Anyway, I booked the flight on October 5th, for departure on the 24th. This was almost immediately after I had received the all-clear to do so from the eye hospital. 19 Days might seem like a long time to prepare, but truly it didn’t feel that way. The last time I travelled away was back in 2019. Now it seemed that everything had become harder and more complex. I found an old list of things I had packed previously, but this time the list seemed to be twice as long, and with it my bag (when finally packed) felt twice as heavy. The departure date came around quickly and the night before left I was still trying to cull the contents to balance the weight and bulk between the luggage to be checked in at the airport and the smaller amount that would be taken into the cabin with me for the flight. My medication took up a sizeable amount (I couldn’t risk losing that in a lost luggage situation), and then there was the laptop, tablet, camera, spare batteries et-al that left little room or weight to spare. I woke up at 3:30 to get ready for an early off, but even then I still tried to rearrange everything again before I left, pushing my timings dangerously close to the limit. As I rushed to leave the house and close the door of the place where I had been living for the past 2.5 years for the final time, a most welcomed phone call came out of the blue. My uncle, an early riser by nature I think, was calling to see if I was away or if I needed a lift. I don’t think that I would have made that coach without him. It’s almost as though I have had previous!

With his help I arrived at the coach station with time to spare and boarded the coach to Heathrow. 2 hours later I arrived at the airport and entered the terminal, ditching the hoodie I was wearing alongside my waterproof jacket. I still felt like I was carrying too much baggage for where I was going, but I would have time enough to sort more things when I settled on the other side. But before that I had to get through check-in, get a coffee and a bite to eat and then endure one hell of a trip to Shanghai then back down to Bangkok. 

The long way around to try and claw back just some of the losses I had incurred, mostly due to being knowingly fit and healthy. 

2020 to 2023 - The drag on years.

Damn, I was only 19(ish) years from retirement.

It's been a tough few years since my last post. COVID-19 introduced itself and had a devastating impact all over the world, and whilst challenges brought by its arrival could have added more complexity around any thoughts I still harboured of pastures new, the personal impact was in truth, minimal. As efforts were made with immediacy to try and control the spread and impact of the virus globally, I was doing my best here to get my vision restored to a workable level, in the hope that when the situation calmed again both at home and abroad, I would be in a position to leave without unnecessary delay.

Eye, Eye.

At consultations in 2020, as I prepared for cataract surgery to be undertaken, I asked whether it would be possible for the lenses that were going to be inserted to be ones that would leave me a little bit more short-sighted. I reasoned that as much of my work had been screen-based over the years, this choice would give me more of a chance of spending longer periods spectacles-free. It would also be useful for reading any food labels close up as I like to check the nutritional values where possible. It's kind of a diabetic habit. 

The operation on my left eye ended with the minimum focal distance being set long, evidenced by the watch that sat afterwards stubbornly out of focus upon my fully outstretched arm. Not precisely the outcome that I was after.  So when the time came for the right eye to be operated on a few months later, I again stressed my desire for a lens with a shorter focus to be used. I had read that the brain was able to tolerate a certain amount of variation in eyesight strength, so it was my hope that by having one eye slightly longer-sighted and the other slightly short, the brain could adapt to use whichever is most appropriate at any given time. For one day that theory worked beautifully in practice. The following day however would bring discomfort and a distinct lack of definition through that same eye. 

A hospital trip found that the internal pressure had become severely raised, and I was soon given tablets and drops to bring it back in line with where it should be. As the pressure dropped down and the sight started to return, it became apparent that the vision was now less capable than it had been on the day after the operation. Further inspection found that the new implant had shifted, and this had introduced some double vision, with only the slightest dilation of the pupil needed for any bright object in a lower light environment to catch the edge of the lens in its new position. Reflective double yellow lines became lines of three or four, steps with reflective strips became a game of trip chance and crossing the road in the rain would mean taking a punt against an indecipherable mass of lights, all moving at different speeds and different directions. I can recall being in Ha Noi (I think in 2016) and noting how visible traffic could be when large portions of it were just ambiently lit by the city. When not everyone was riding with their headlamps on full blast or every vehicle was competing to throw beams so intense that they could blind or cook a small rodent at 50 paces. At that point in time I would have rather been taking my chances there for sure despite its chaotic reputation. Mine is an edge-case scenario obviously, but I can attest to the fact that more and more bright lights do not always make everything more visible. Blindingly obvious.

It would take several months for a replacement lens to be fitted, but whilst an improvement in some crucial ways, it also brought with it some more problems. The position once again is not exactly correct with a small amount of diffraction due to it being off-centre, and there is a dependency on multiple drops daily to try and keep the eye pressure from going too high. Some internal haemorrhaging can also happen from time to time, but it is as yet unclear whether this is linked to the aforementioned problems or not. An upcoming operation that has been scheduled in a short time from now should allow for further investigations to take place, and whilst not that hopeful of a permanent fix or cure, it would be good to gain a better understanding of how it can be managed more effectively going forward.

At this point in time, I really can not remember fully the list of broken bones and other medical issues that have made themselves known during my nearly five decades on this planet, but it's a list that keeps on growing.

Anyone for cabbage?

The heart has also required a little work, which came in the form of a coronary artery bypass graft, or CABG for short (often spoken as cabbage on the wards) in 2022. There was no real drama into the run-up for me needing this, no grabbing of the chest or severe gasping for breath. My symptoms were overall less severe than one may imagine when hearing the term "Heart Attack", but the end result was no different to many who have suffered such discomfort. Notably, there is now a sizeable scar that runs down the centre of my chest, a reminder of where the surgeons cracked me open so that their particular brand of black magic could be performed. It had been decided previously that the using of stents would not be suitable given the overall condition of the artery in question. Besides, a graft could be a longer-term solution anyway as potentially it could be something that could last for 25 or 30-plus years.

Several months into recovery, the wire holding my sternum in place either loosened or broke which led to parts of my chest being able to move around in a way that was less than ideal. With this additional movement came a level of discomfort that I wasn't entirely at ease with, but I was assured by the heart specialists that whilst it may have felt unpleasant at times (and that was on a good day), the situation was one that wasn't overly dangerous. The decision then was completely mine as to whether I wanted to undergo another operation to sure things back up internally, or just stick with where I was. As the proposed procedure wasn't risk-free to begin with (as ever), and would mean being opened back up again in order for the old wire (or wires) to be untangled, removed and replaced, I wasn't exactly keen. This was despite of the many sleep-deprived nights that I was having to cope with at this time.

The first question that had been put to me after the scans had been examined was “Can you feel any wires poking out of your chest?”, which I was happy to confirm I could not. My first question in response was whether, as things currently stood, there would be a limit to the weight that I would be able to carry, and I was assured that any limit would not be because of the condition of the chest. Having had to adhere to such strict limits for many months following the surgery, I questioned again, pressing as to whether maybe 25kg would be acceptable. This was as direct a question as I could muster. 25kg would have been around the most that any of my backpacks would have held on my longer trips abroad, so when he stated a "no limit" limit, my mind was made up. I decided that I would not go for a second operation. I would deal with the intermittent discomfort if it meant there was a better chance of leaving sooner and hope that over time, that level of discomfort would diminish.

Besides, sometimes it's better the devil you know.

So now what??
Many things have changed in the past few years and it seems like such a long time ago that I was set on leaving. I would still love to get going for sure, but it's difficult at this time to see how I could forge that long-term future away from the UK. Aside from everything else, or mostly because of, my travel insurance quotes have gone through the roof. Surely all of these premiums should be decreasing in price the more of me that gets repaired and/or replaced. Could there be a gap in the market for a new kind of insurance type somewhere between medical cover and mechanical breakdown (with or without home start)? Part man, part machine, all crock.  

Maybe I should just concentrate on leaving first and then seeing exactly how things evolve. Away from this place, either when travelling around or being planted firmly in a location less familiar, I always felt more productive. Now, that boost could well have been the result of some naughty sugars hidden away in my dietary intake, one where I was not fully aware of the contents at the time of consumption, but that's doubtful. It is more likely that I am in need of something else to better fuel my interests. Something different than what I currently have here at my disposal. 

I am feeling again that I need to get away, and soonish. Before the UK has another go at tapping the heels out from under me. The time may now be upon me to start thinking about book three of my unlikely-to-be-written trilogy. 

Open to suggestions at this point.